Friendship forever (?)

Friendship is great and when you become closer friends, it can be even better. But as soon as one of the friends feels more than just friendship for the other person, it gets complicated and it can destroy this great friendship from before.

Friends support each other and help each other, no matter what and especially when you decide to stay friends forever, this can be a hard task. I must admit, it was too hard and too difficult for me. I couldn't make it, I had to surrender to that task!

I don't want pity, but I had to let go the best friend I've ever had. The funny thing about it is that I have never met her in real and that we've only been friend over the internet.

Anyway, I've got to move on. I'm just sorry that I can't be a friend for her, it's simply impossible for me, or at least I feel like it's impossible. I don't know what to do, so I gave up. I know that is cowardice, because she's been there for me too when I was happy and sad and she supported me without hesitation. I admire her for that but have to admit that I'm not that strong!

Well, that was it, my pathetic attempt to have an amazing friend forever. I guess I just don't deserve such an amazing person as my friend in my life, or just not yet. Seems it was not time for that yet. It's time to care about my own life. I should get a life, maybe then I will find a friend and maybe it will be her again, which I highly doubt!

I'm ready to move out, though! Yeah, I want to see this nice flat that I found and if it's good enough, I want to rent it! I don't have high expectations though, it'll be my first own appartment. So yeah, I'm excited and can't wait!

Yeah..